In 2017 I bought a book titled “How to be everything” by Emilie Wapnick. As it frequently does, the Universe put Emilie in my path at a time when I really was trying to be everything…wife, mother, artist, teacher, student, volunteer, homemaker, adventurer, explorer and friend. I put it excitedly by my bedside. hoping it would give meaning to my chaos, procrastination, inefficiency, fatigue and brain fog. But it remained there unopened because soon after that my life completely imploded.
5 years later and I’m thinking about the book again, sitting on top of the dresser in my bedroom, among a row of eagerly purchased books all waiting to be read. After navigating a painful divorce, selling our beautiful family home, buying my first home (of my own), completing a huge renovation, falling in love again, the Covid19 pandemic, and supporting my boyfriend through a tough 10 months, I find myself back here again…still trying to be everything!
This time, however, it feels more positive. There has been a noticeable change in my energy this week. It is still chaotic, but rather than floundering and directionless, it’s more like a guided missile that keeps changing its target. The forward momentum is there, I just need to recalibrate the navigation system? My journal pages this week reflect this.
They are lighter and brighter than they’ve been for a while now, acknowledging what is, yet with an upbeat air of positivity. It’s creative energy, as opposed to nervous, neurotic and destructive energy.
It’s got me thinking about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and the ultimate goal of self-actualisation, the desire to reach one’s full potential. When my mind is not leading me astray, self-actualisation is where I’m at, it’s where I love to be…learning, growing and becoming. Until life knocks me off balance again anyway!
So it’s time to read that book, and start enjoying my sometimes frantic, but mostly positively energised creative inner and outer worlds that I’m lucky enough to inhabit. And to remember to let JOY be my compass…